Home on the Range

Home on the Range

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Jan 11th 2015: Showers hurt

I don't know if i'll make sense.  It is difficult to write/think/move.  Managed to take a shower.  Like needles touching my skin.  Every sense is heightened- smell, taste, touch- but not pleasurable.  Everything stinks and is disgusting.  My skin wants to be shredded off- prickly, bumps.  Even the inside of my mouth holds razor blades.

I cry and wail and yell and laugh.  Brain shocks are constant.  hungry but do not want to vomit again.  Hold on, Hold on. 

Thinking of taking a benedryl and going to bed.  Uncomfortable to lay down.  Pillow rakes against raw skin.  If I can sleep then I can take my morning wellbutrin.  Symptoms better in the morn.

Husband is patient. I hear my voice and feel myself sarcastic and yelling then crying with remorse.  He is so very patient. 

I have to go.  Writing is too hard.

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